Reflections on an Eating Trip across Southern France
by Judy Mahle Lutter

I recently returned from an eating trip across southern France. That is something I would never have dared to do 20 years ago. At that time I was so concerned with my weight that any thought of eating in really good restaurants for several nights in a row would have freaked me out. I was one of those women who weighed themselves several times a day, ate mostly salads and low fat foods and was obsessed if I gained a pound or two.

I was not fat at the time. I was a fat kid who lost weight during my 20's because I put considerable effort into watching what I ate. Yet I continually worried I would gain the weight back.

I lost a few more pounds, but only a few, when I started running regularly. But instead of making me feel as if I could eat more, since I was burning calories with my activity, I became even more concerned. I was sure that an extra pound or two would not only make me look fat, but also compromise my competitive abilities and perhaps my health. 

I was not unlike the person described in the October 18th issue of the New York Times in one of a series of articles on the fat epidemic. This article focused on chronic dieters and was titled "No days off are allowed, experts on weight argue." In the article, author Gina Kolata describes numerous individuals who are incredibly conscious of every calorie they eat as well as how much exercise they achieve. Most are not overweight, although many would like to lose that 5 to 10 pounds, which they see as magically making them more attractive. A Centers for Disease Control and Prevention study found that more than 78 percent of women are either dieting to lose weight or watching what they eat so they don't gain weight.

Kolata writes, "Until recently, obesity experts would have wrung their hands in dismay over such statistics. Chronic dieters, they would have said, either have eating disorders or are on their way to developing them." 

That is no longer the case. The article continues: "Dr. Madelyn H. Fernstrom, director of the Weight Management Center at the University of Pittsburgh Medical Center Health System, put it bluntly: ' The term "chronic dieter" is not a negative one.'"

I disagree. It was only when I stopped being concerned about every calorie that I began to live a healthier life. Yes, I gained 12 pounds, to regain what probably was a genetically normal weight for me, but I also realized how much time and effort I had spent worrying about weight maintenance.

My own thinking on the subject changed dramatically because of my work at Melpomene Institute. In 1983 we began to hold yearly conferences on the topic of Body Image. Most of the participants were concerned about weight and health issues. I became aware that I was hardly the only one obsessed with my weight. I also began to read the literature more carefully that disputed the "fact" that higher weights were necessarily unhealthy. 

In 1988 and 1989 Melpomene hosted conferences for larger women focused on health issues and living healthily rather than on weight loss.

I firmly believe the research that shows that what we weigh has a great deal to do with our genes. Many years ago Ellen Goodman wrote that her response to gaining weight over the holidays was to resolve to grow 3 or 4 inches in January! While we realize that our desire to be taller will not happen once we are over 20, many of us persist in trying to become an impossible body size.

There is mounting evidence that we can be healthy at a variety of sizes. One of the key elements is physical activity. Melpomene research has documented that heavier women have a more difficult time participating in physical activity. One of the major factors is embarrassment, but some also experience difficulties because equipment may not fit, or they may feel uncomfortable in a public setting. At one of our conferences for larger women, we thought we could include a two- or three-mile walk. One of the women helping design the conference quickly nixed that idea." Are you kidding?" she said. " Can you imagine the comments if 100 women who weigh over 200 pounds were seen walking around Lake of the Isles?" 

At any size, the problem for most Americans is that we have to make an effort to be physically active. It's different in Europe. I saw far fewer heavy women in France. In talking with Lil Pfluke, a Melpomene member who has lived in Paris for the past five years, she agreed there were several differences. First of all, people walk because it is necessary. "I try to blend into the community", Pfluke said, "so I conscientiously drive much less than I would in the States, but my neighbors still comment that I drive far too often."

Pfluke also says that the French do not snack. "After a long noon bike ride (she's a competitive cyclist), I've been known to grab a candy bar for quick energy. Everyone looks at me as if I'm crazy."

As we approach the holiday season we will be bombarded with messages to control our eating so we don't gain weight. I'll ignore those warnings, although I'll make sure I don't skip my regular run or cross country ski. I refuse to again live my life like the chronic dieter quoted at the end of the Kolata article who says she "often wishes she could just forget, for once, about what she is eating. 'I'd like to just live my life and not think about it.' she said.'" She could, and should.

Reprint permission granted by the Minnesota Women's Press December, 2000
www.womenspress.com

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