Being in a relationship can be an incredible, fulfilling time in your life, and it can also be the most frustrating and stressful time as well. With all the times of cuddling, telling funny stories, and sharing quiet dinners, it seems there is an equal number of screaming matches, slammed doors, and hurt feelings. Most of these yucky times are results of bad communication.
There is no question that communication is the most important aspect of any relationship. If two individuals understand exactly where the other is coming from and can communicate their points effectively as well, then chances are, the relationship can be fairly drama free, but because men and women differ so much in how they communicate, this is seldom the case.
Since it is always harder trying to teach an old dog new tricks (sorry men for the DOG reference, but it fits here…) than it is to simply change oneself, learning how to understand men’s signals might be a better way to experience a happier and more fulfilling relationship than trying to change your man into communicating differently.
One simple way to really understand men’s signals is to simply stop and really LISTEN to what is being said. So many relationships are doomed from the start because women refuse to hear what the man is saying and instead of dropping him and moving on, they simply cherish the time they are together and long for more. For instance, if a man says:
“I really don’t know what I want.”
“I am happy with the way things are now.”
“I don’t want to move too fast.”
It means that he is not ready for true commitment and wants to keep his options open. If you feel your man is aloof and doesn’t spend enough time with you, it means he DOESN’T WANT TO SPEND MORE TIME WITH YOU! If he did, he would find a way, and if you need more time with someone in a relationship, this may not be the guy.
In fact, if you want him to change, then you are not happy with him either. You can either end it and move on, or try to work on it, but keep this in mind…unless a man feels what he is losing is more important than what he is giving up, he probably won’t change. Throwing down the old “If you can’t be this for me, then we’re done” card will usually get the trick done. He will either change, or you will move on.
Men’s signals are fairly easy to pick up. If he wants you to notice something he has done, he will mention it AND, his ego will want credit for it. You may have heard “Honey, I did the dishes for you.” Well, you may have done them 100 times prior, but he wants credit for the time he did it.
He IS trying to show that he cares and your best bet is to thank him and give him a smootch. IN addition, men’s signals can be just as much about what they DON’T do as well. For instance, if you have told him how important it is for him to be at your house on time when your parents are coming over, if he is constantly late he is sending the signal that this is simply not that important to him.
Ladies, while it may be tough to face sometimes, sometimes you just have to either accept things the way they are or decide to move on. Either way, keep in mind, men do communicate all the time, it is just up to you to interpret what they are saying through their actions, gestures, and words.
Taking the time to understand them and what they may be feeling can be a great way to take your relationship to the next level, or leave it for something better.